Sentence Fluency

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Mr. Cronin’s Really Bad Sentence Fluency

I woke up. It was Sunday. I went downstairs. I ate cereal. The cereal was good. I watched SportsCenter. SportsCenter said the Patriots were good. I took a shower. I got changed. I went to the store. I bought food. I went home. I read for a little bit. I worked on the computer. I made dinner. I burned the bread. I watched some dumb show. I got tired. I went to bed.

What’s Wrong:

It's choppy, the sentences are too short, the sentences all start the same way, they all follow the same pattern, there is no transition between sentences

How to Fix It:

  • Vary the start of the sentence
    • You can start with the subject (Burt went to the concert.)
    • Begin with a modifier (Quickly, Burt ran to get in line.)
    • Start with a clause or phrase (At the end of the line, Burt waited patiently. Knowing the line would move quickly, Burt continued to wait.)
  • Use prepositional phrases (On my way to the store, After breakfast)
  • Use transition words
    • Prepositions: on, near, at above, across, under, after, below
    • Time: then, next, when, finally
    • Comparison: similarly, also, like
    • Contrast: however, yet, still, although
    • Add info: another, finally, in addition, moreover, besides
  • Use a variety of simple / complex / compound sentences (ex. I decided to go to the store. On my way there, it started to rain. Although the rain fell softly at first, within minutes it became a deluge.)
  • Combine sentences by listing items in a series, or by making more complex sentence.
  • Don't use any of the solutions too much

On Your Own

Write a paragraph about one of your days in the last week. Use atrocious sentence fluency.

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